with your own penis?
i was born a porn star she said
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
