...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
