Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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