u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
