he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
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