Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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