i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
