I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
My ATM looks so different sober.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
