normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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