smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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