I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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