She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
This toilet bowl is my home.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
