He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
