Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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