the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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