I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
