I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Michael Bay diarrhea
No stitches, just platelets and will power
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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