i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
