**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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