the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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