i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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