What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The power of my boobs compel you
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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