Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
