Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
