yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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