His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
