you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Send help, water and tortillas.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
