He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
