Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
