dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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