: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
nutella sex= disaster
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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