you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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