Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Randomize
