I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
smell my finger.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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