More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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