Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
