The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
