booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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