In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
