Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
