Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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