you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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