True but thats because hes a fetus.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
