Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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