I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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