i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
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