just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
When did angry sex become our thing?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
