if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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