Princesses don't give blow jobs
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
