After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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